Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Britain, work, stress

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

image for 30% Of Britons Don't Give A Toss About Work
Fuck This Ethel - I'm Going On The Old King Cole

Hot on the heels of the astounding revelation that 70% of Britons are stressed out over work, a follow up report states categorically that 30% of Britons don't give a toss about work.

Critics say that it's attitudes like this which have contributed in large part to a rising sense of social injustice. Those in employment frequently go out to work in the depths of winter, in order to earn an honest crust, while their idle counterparts lie snoring in a nice warm bed.

Likewise, in the summer months, the employed march dutifully off to work in offices and factories whilst their neighbours catch the sun and drink beer in their gardens.

One unemployed Briton we spoke to was 44 years old and has never worked a day in his life. He said he didn't give a toss about work because he is an individual and doesn't need the hassle of keeping regular hours and being told what to do. Adding that there was no need to work anyway, because his 'wages' get paid into the bank on a regular basis, so that these days he doesn't even have to drag his arse down the Post Office to cash a Giro.

One single Mum complained that she wanted to work, but that it was hard with twelve kids by ten different fathers to arrange child care, and that in any case, when her benefits were added together, stacking shelves at Tesco or working in a poxy call centre weren't viable financial options.

She went on to blame immigrants for child poverty, saying that if there weren't so many of them scrounging off the system there would be more money in the pot for native born idlers.

We had to cut our meeting off at that point as she had a pressing appointment with her cosmetic surgeon regarding a breast enhancement procedure.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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