Written by Noshing Mink
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Monday, 27 September 2010

image for Ed and David Milliband are really brothers - it's true!
Millibands as children - who would have guessed that they are related?

Labour Party leader Ed Milliband revealed that he and fellow leadership candidate David Milliband are brothers and have been for many years. Apparently, the two men, who both applied for the top job in the Shadow Cabinet, share not only the same father but also the same mother. They became estranged many years ago when David Milliband pursued New Labour policies and Ed Milliband didn't but have now re-united.

The two brothers admitted that they had fooled most people for many years. A spokesman for Ed said "Who would have guessed that these very different men, who look and sound the same and have the same politics, are related? I mean, is that coincidence or what?"

The news hasn't surprised everyone. Former Labour leader and ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair said "I have known David since childhood and I recall that whenever I was invited to his birthday party Ed would be there and would stand next to him when he cut the cake or opened his presents. Sometimes Ed would address David's parents as "mum" and "dad"."

Meanwhile, the leader of trade union Unite, which payrolled Ed Milliband, sounded a note of discord. Derek Simpson said "We are not happy about this at all. My members deserved to be consulted about Ed Milliband having a brother but we were not. Also, nobody invited my members to the Millibands' birthday parties. This is another example of working class people being abused by the ruling classes. I am therefore sending out ballot papers to all workers to vote on immediate industrial action. Maybe then Mr. Milliband will think twice before acquiring siblings without first getting the approval of the National Executive."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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