Written by Sidney Bollocks
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Wayne Rooney

Monday, 13 September 2010

image for Coca Cola bosses ready to ditch Rooney from all advertising
Coca Cola UK marketing director, Les Rottenteeth.

Coca Cola bosses are reeling from the bad publicity surrounding Wayne Rooney and his now legendary threesomes with Manchester tarts.

UK marketing boss, Les Rottenteeth, said "Coca Cola is a world leading brand and has many decades of proud history of creating hyperactive and obese youngsters. We have always maintained a clean and wholesome family image. These latest revelations are completely at odds with our marketing strategy".

The loss of this contract will be a major blow to Rooney, who is currently paid a shitload of money by the fizzy drink makers for doing very liitle. However, industry insiders are reporting that energy drink Mother is about to sign Rooney to front its new advertising campaign.

It is believed that the new marketing slogan for Mother is something along the lines of 'If you want to be able to bang like a shit house door in the wind, all night long, drink Mother. Wayne Rooney does'.

An alternative slogan for after the 9pm watershed is 'Wanna be a Mother Fucker too?'

Make Sidney Bollocks's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 3?

2 22 3 9

Go to top