Written by j.w.
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Topics: Gay, Guy Fawkes

Friday, 3 September 2010

image for Was Guido Fawkes Gay?
An unknown man claiming to be Guido Fawkes

Rumours are spreading through Westminter that the famous Guido Fawkes dubbed 'the only person to enter Parliament with good intentions' was gay.

Evidence for this allegation is mounting. He went to Public School a definite indicator, he stayed in the same house with several men and his body language spoke eloquently of his shameful erotic desire for another man who was known to be his 'special adviser'. What he advised about is becoming clearer by the hour and gay smears were found on sheets in rooms occupied by the two men.

Guido has hotly denied any improper behaviour. 'My prick is my business' he declared 'it doesn't matter what hole I put it in as long as I am known forever as the man who was burnt on the stake because of my honourable actions in attempting to destroy tyranny.'

Friends of Guido have pointed out that lots of men can be found in the same room as other men, that a few former public schoolboys survived the ordeal without becoming obviously gay and that Guido's wife has had several miscarriages.

'Nonsense' shout the gossips 'why bring his wife into it? What has she done to be used in this way? Where did the cream come from for the porridge he was eating with his special adviser? This man is guilty. Burn him!'

Guido's chances of becoming Prime Minister have taken a downturn. People say he is on longer up for the job.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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