Written by j.w.
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Topics: Gambling

Sunday, 29 August 2010

image for Sport Betting Scandal
Rumoured to be West Ham's new signing

Waves of shock were reverberating through the loins of all Football lovers at the news that West Ham United are alleged to have accepted bribes to score 0 points in the Premiership this season.

Hammers fans produced a mix reaction. One expressed relief: 'I thought they couldn't really be that bad' he told me over our eel pie.

Sir Trevor Brooking, famed West Ham figure, took time from blowing pretty bubbles in the air, to tell me: 'I have watched all West Ham's games this season. Their play is consisten with their performances last season. I am sure our team is doing its best.'

Another suggestion is that bets had been put on West Ham scoring no goals in the season. This seemed to be confirmed when Carlton Cole missed a Penalty, however Mark Noble forgot the plot and inadvertantly scored a Penalty. 'It is too much not to score at all' he complained 'we would seem unbelievably inept not to score at all from Penalties.' The franchise behind the betting scam have recognised Mark is right and he has avoided being sent off in the near future.

Avram Grant, West Ham's new Manager, fresh from his triumphs last season at relegated Portsmouth is on the look out for new players to sign before the Tuesday deadline. 'There are so few Pakastani footballers available' he complained.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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