Written by Nick Hobbs
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Topics: Fighting, Birds, RSPB

Friday, 30 July 2010

image for Violence As Wrong R.S.P.B Attend Village Meeting
Is it cold out,dear? No, it's just a blue tit.

There was uproar last night in Fickleworth, as angry villager's swamped a local town meeting.

Geoff Atterton, local bird fancier and ornitholigist, had organised a talk for his monthly group, the Fickleworth Bird Lovers Society, by the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (R.S.P.B).

Unfortunately Geoff, who is partially stupid, somehow managed to contact the Royal Society for the Prevention of Birds (R.S.P.B) instead.

Jenny Bunty, local busy-body, told us "we all new something was up when the speaker arrived. He was a squat little ruddy faced man, and he was head to toe in camouflage clothes. It was the cartridge belt and game bag that really made us ponder."

"When he set up his slide show, and the first picture was of him skinning a chaffinch, we started to grumble," Bunty continued.

Rowley Farquar, Chairman of the second R.S.P.B, told us "we recieved a call to attend a meeting and conduct a talk on our work, that's what we did. My colleague and speaker on the evening, Mr Mange, was very upset with his treatment. We will be filing an official complaint with the authorities, I have no more to say on the matter."

Eyewitness reports suggest that chairs were thrown at Mr Mange, and a large group of buxom ladies were seen violently wagging their fingers at him and clucking their tongues.

Police were eventually called to scene, and Mr Mange was pulled from the baying crowd and escorted away to the local hospital, where he is still recovering.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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