Written by j.w.
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Wednesday, 21 July 2010

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We must get our troops out of Vietnam

There was great rejoicing in the White House (now renamed - temporarily - the Black House) at the presence of Britain's brand new Prime Minister, David Cameron. This was somethin' special!

Getting troops out of Vietnam was top of the agenda. 'This war has gone on too long' confessed Obama when he thought his microphone was turned off. 'We've done our bit' said Cameron 'we have always called Afghanistan our Vietnam as well - its a colonial hangover of the time when we ruled the World.'

'Wherever it is or whatever it is called' claimed Dick Cheney 'I am sure I know where Afghanistan is as Sarah Palin showed me on a map.' These two mates of Obama's had shown him the map as well.

'Too many of our lads are being killed' cried Obama and Cameron in special unison 'it is an awful consequence of people not appreciating our point of view.'

The idea is to train up the Afghan subjects to begin slowly taking over the reins of power. 'Horses first' advised Obama 'then we can get them into cars so they can organise a Grand Prix. Even we managed that eventually.'

Meanwhile, Cameron's other half, Nicola Clegg - the first ever Liberal to answer a Question - was fighting her own battle in the House of Commons. Struggling to make herself heard over the shouts of the Speaker, Nicola did very well in defending the people of Sheffield from Afghan attacks. Farmer Straw was looking after things for the Opposition while his loved one Henrietta was busy clearing out the shit left on their farm by The Pig of Darkness.

'If my other half was here' complained Nicola over the shouts of the rabble 'you would never dare treat me like this. Just you wait. When he gets back to answer your questions next week you will regret your treatment of me.'

A worried George Osborne whispered into Nicola's ear that Brave David would not be able to defend her next week, as the Commons were all off on holiday. By September, however, he would have enough ammunition to get revenge on those nasty people who dared to insult her and the good people of Sheffield.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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