Written by Gazzer G
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Topics: David Cameron

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

The Prime Minister David Cameron has today come under renewed pressure to resign following the ongoing 'Sweet Carolinegate' controversy.

As revealed under the Freedom of Information Act, funds earmarked to kickstart the Prime Minister's Big Society campaign had been secretly diverted to support legendary artist Neil Diamond.

In recent weeks Mr Diamond, whose hits span more than 50 years, has been searching for suitable premises in the Liverpool area as part of a career change to set up as an Estate Agent.

Diamond's plans were common knowledge amongst local tradesmen. Signmaker Jack Spratt of Pukka Signs was commissioned by the aged crooner to make a 25 foot sign for Diamond Geezers Estate Agents. "He was a nice chap, gave me an autograph and all that" said Spratt, "but my suspicions were aroused when I asked him about his forthcoming stint in Vegas. He got all evasive and muttered something about semi-detached homes. Anybody who knows this area will tell you they're all terraced". However, when asked to eat some fat, Mr Spratt refused.

David Cameron denies any knowledge of his Big Society team channelling funds to Neil Diamond or any other superstar. When challenged by Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight he said he felt that Mr Diamond could bring something to the community and if that happened to be an Estate Agency then so be it. Cameron also argued that it isn't for a Prime Minister to judge whether or not a pop idol should be allowed to look out of the shop window every afternoon.

In other breaking news, legendary songsmith Neil Sedaka has recently bought a Favorite Chicken franchise in Southampton, although it is believed this was self-financed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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