Written by NEWSMAN
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Topics: BBC, Daily Mail

Monday, 19 July 2010

image for Now Maddening Mail is twice the price of the BBC
The Much Loved BBC v Daily Daylight Robbery

There were calls for the Daily Mail to be nationalised last night as figures revealed the down-market "newspaper" costs twice as much as the BBC.

There was fury among millions of people in Middle England at the shock news. Figures obtained by a freedom of information request,show that if you buy lots of copies of the rag every day of the year, it would cost you £320.40.

That's more than TWICE as much as the much-loved BBC.

Culture Minister, Jeremiya Chase says he can see no reason why the Daily Mail shouldn't drastically reduce its cover price.

"I'm fed up of the Daily Mail fleecing the hard working men and women of Britain. We're all having to tighten our belts and for middle-England to be ripped off in this way is a national disgrace".

The Daily Mail has come in for stern criticism with its mix of made-up stories and daily articles about someone called Kim Kadashian, who noone's ever heard of. The paper, which is crammed full of adverts yet still charges extortionate prices, is printed daily and can be read from cover to cover in less than ten minutes. The BBC, however, has a world-wide reputation for exemplary journalism, quality programming and choice over many terrestrial, digital and radio channels.

Randy Goat, from the Tax Payers' Alliance said "It's about time the government did something. The Daily Mail needs to be nationalised. It's appalling that so many middle-class families are having to pay over the odds for a whole lot of rubbish. It's Daily day-light robbery."

These figures also show that the Daily Mail's Editor, Paul Dacre, is paid one point six billion pounds a year. That's an astonishing one point six billion times more than the Prime Minister.

And in another twist that's bound to embarrass the rag, an article in the Lancet journal is warning innocent Britons that reading the Daily Mail can kill you. "The ink it uses, if ingested, could cause multiple organ failure. The middle classes are most at risk."

A spokesman for the Daily Mail refused to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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