Written by Simon Cole
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Friday, 16 July 2010

image for Ruth Archer to be banned from BBC Radio 2
Ruth Archer in her Friday Night rig

The coalition government has decided to pass legislation banning Ruth Archer from presenting Radio 2s 'Friday Night is Music Night'.

A spokesman for the Department of Culture Media Sport and Anything Else that comes up said the new government would not be passing odd-ball legislation for anything that came up as the previous government had done, but the minister felt this is important.

'The pictures on radio are very good these days,' said the Minister who listens to the programme on his car radio on the way home to his constituency for the week-end. 'The thought of a Vesta Tilley figure striding up and down the stage trying to be a man is very evocative. However we have to remember this programme goes out before the watershed, and the picture of a cigarette in a holder is not good for children. Also her strangled vowels are not nice at that time of day, just when people are sitting down to cocktails.'

A BBC spokesman said: 'We have an all inclusive policy with a Welsh boy's voice one week, and American the next and Ruth Archer the third. It is believed negotiations are under way for Sunday's Radio 4 announcer to take one slot a month. It is our duty to cover the whole of the English language, s/he continued.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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