Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 15 July 2010

image for Libyan ship with Gazza aid docks in Newcastle
At Newcastle docks today

Tyne/Wear - (Rehab Mess): A Libyan ship carrying aid for the tormented former England footballer has docked in Newcastle.

The emergency response vessel has been sent by Colonel Gaddafi after he heard how brave Gazza tried to offer succour (sic) to mad-as-a-hatter Rothbury shooter Raoul Moat RIP.

It is believed to be stocked with emergency supplies including cans of lager, cold roast chicken, a fishing rod and 'a nice warm dressing down' - er...gown! - for the 43 year old ex-Newcastle United striker.

His mercy mission last week was rebuffed by Northumbria police, sending the soused old hasbeen mental with inebriated rejection woe.

The Liberian-registered Almathea was seen unloading her payload this morning before heading on the second leg of its goodwill mission to the UK.

Its next destination is likely to be the Kent home of beleaguered BP CEO Tony Hayward.

News reports this week have suggested Hayward may have used his influence with ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair to hasten the Lockerbie Bomber's unwarranted early release from jail to speed up lucrative Libyan oil field exploration contracts.

There's only one Gary Lineker.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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