Written by Lady Godiva
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Topics: Fashion, London 2012

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

image for Stella McCartney appointed creative director of Team GB Olympic outfits for 2012
"Run! Run, as fast as you can. You can't can me I'm the fastest man.

"Designer Stella McCartney has been appointed creative director of Team GB's Olympic outfits for the London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games."

So reads the headline.

Women athletes are 'thrilled to bits' at the news just out from ADIDAS. Many of them are hoping to be asked for their input.

Shotput diva, Irma Mann, said she's hoping for a high-necked top to cover a lump on her throat.

Long jump diva, Samantha Longlegs (daughter of 'Daddy Longlegs' - holder of l00 yds sprint record) says she'd like something 'strapless' to avoid tanlines. Samantha appears to have forgotten where the 2012 Olympics are going to be held.

Champion diver, Champion Diver, is hoping Stella designs some speedos that won't 'ride up' and show his cheeks. He said his boyfriend doesn't like it when other blokes stare at his bum.

High jumper, Gerron U.P. Derr is hoping for something with sparkles or sequins because he loves to 'shine' as he flies through the air. Also, he'll be able to wear the outfit after the Games, when he goes 'clubbing'.

Stella says she will definitely accept input from all members of Team GB, but she hasn't a clue if she'll take any notice of it or not.

The only limitations put on the designs of the outfits is that they MUST be red, white and blue and must NOT have any frills or lace. (Or was it 'thrills and pace'? - No, they're to be provided, free of charge, by the competitors).

Morrison's is hosting free barbecue to celebrate the opening of the new Butchers' Department (old one burned down).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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