Written by Cooper23
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Topics: Fox

Saturday, 3 July 2010

image for My daughter was molested by a Fox as she slept!
No, I AM your father!

In the latest of incidents showing just how bad those nasty Foxes are, a young single mum has recounted the horrifying story of how her daughter was molested by a Fox in their $70,000 flat in East London.

"I was downstairs watching Big Brother when I heard a strange noise from upstairs, like a scream and "help, get it off me!". After waiting half an hour to see who was going to be evicted I rushed straight up to my daughters room and found her lying on her bed alongside a large Fox which had a lighted roll up in it's mouth. I rushed straight out of the room and updated my Facebook status to tell everyone, then after accepting a few Farmville gifts I rushed back into the room with a broom to chase the Fox away. It just looked at me like it owned the place before casually trotting out of the room. I was terrified!"

Even after this the Fox did not leave them alone.

"I've seen the Fox skulking around most nights. Some times it even follows me to work, I just can't get away from it. Even a restraining order doesn't seem to bother it, or the ASBO. I've heard it's into drugs and part of a gang too."

If this wasn't bad enough, 9 months later when the Baby was born she was given shocking news.

"After the baby was born the Doctor took it straight away, which was scary. A few minutes later he came back and told me that he had some good news and some bad news. I asked for the bad news, wanting to get the worst over, and he told me the baby was little ginger girl. I was devastated, but he quickly told me the good news, she had died shortly after birth. I can't tell you my relief."

If further evidence is needed that these attacks are actually common, some scientists theorise that Foxes may actually be behind every parents worst nightmare, Ginger children.

Dr I.M Gay of the University of Skegness in Sutton on Sea summed it up.

"Many parents suffer the terrible agony of giving birth to Ginger children, knowing they must be forever protected from sunlight and that they are evil and lacking souls, despite having no evidence of Gingerism in the family. Scientists for many years have wondered how Gingers survive as after all they are far to nasty for anyone to want to get down and dirty with them."
Now Dr Gay might have the answer.

"My research shows that mothers who give birth to Ginger babies as a result of being molested by Foxes. As everyone knows, Foxes are Ginger, prefer to come out at night and are evil and lack souls."

Dr Gay says the final proof came with recent events.

"What made me realise the answer was all these recent events of Foxes eating babies. It has been well known for years that Gingers eat babies, so this was a further connection."

We decided with caution to ask a Ginger we had trapped using a baby as bait about the new theory, a Miss B Hubbard from Leicester. She was uncooperative and the smell was too much to handle, so it was humanely destroyed by a pest controller.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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