Written by Mr Dead
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Topics: Labour, Vote

Tuesday, 29 March 2005

image for Labour to give Dead the vote
Voters preparing to be heard at the next Genreal Election

With just weeks to go to the General Election, Labour have announced plans to give the recently deceased a chance to vote.

In a statement released on their Official Website on Easter Sunday, Labour announced an electoral reform that would allow those deceased, and over age of 18, a chance to have their voices once again heard.

"The recently deceased have long been seen as third class citizens in this country. " Said a Spokesperson for the Government. "It is time we started to treat them with respect, and bring them into the multicultural Britain of the 21st Century."

This move, whilst welcomed by the Association of British Dead, has been criticised by Opposition Parties as well as Labour backbenchers.

"We are grateful that we are once again being given the opportunity to make a significant contribution to British Society." Commented John Jones (1946-2000), Secretary of the ABD, in a press conference held yesterday.

A Spokesperson for the Conservative Party had this to say, "this new initiative is just another way for the current Government to get voters to ignore real policies, such as the control of the influx of illegal aliens, like Doctor Who, into this country."

A leading Labour backbencher said that: "it just smacks of desperation on the parties part due to a downturn in popularity with regards the recent events in the Middle East."

The Liberal Democrats refused to comment on this subject as they felt that it would "make no real difference" to their election.

Whilst being unavailable for comment, Sting, who is an ardent campaigner for Equal Rights for the Deceased, was said to be "delighted" at this news.

Despite Labour wanting these new reforms to be in place before the General Election in May, time constraints coupled with the fact that these plans are still in their infancy, mean that these new reforms are not likely to be in effect before the European Referendum in 2006.

"We are still ironing out the finer points in this proposal, but we are quietly confident that we can enact the biggest electoral reform since women were given the vote." Commented a Spokesperson for Alan Milburn's Office.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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