Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 28 June 2010

image for Queen chokes on diamond brooch at England thrashing
The shock is killing her!

London - (OMG! Mess): The three inch 20 carat Star of Hindustan accidentally got caught in HM's throat amid the shock of a tosser ref's disallowed Frank Lampard goal.

"Orf with his head!" the Queen cried just as the fastener of the 1901 Boucheron sapphire bauble suddenly snapped open.

The next second the royal bijouterie pinged off Her Maj's jacket lapel and straight into her gaping gob.

"Aaaarghhhhhh!" was the only discernible comment as the brooch lodged mid-trachea, choking the Queen... while Capello's men played gamely on.

Paramedics were immediately summoned but they too agreed that Uruguayan referee Jorge Larrionda and linesman Mauricio Espinosa were either blind as bats or had been paid to cheat.

"Of course, this could be the death of her Haitch-emmed-ness!" ambulance staff nurse Petal Powers commented today.

Phil the greek is five million quid overdrawn.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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