Written by Bill Licks
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Tuesday, 22 June 2010

image for The Queen blows her Vuvuzela during Andy Murray match at Wimbledon
'Shut one's filthy little haggis eating gob'

The Queen took revenge today on snot-nosed, misery Andy Murray by blowing on a Vuvuzela everytime he served a ball on the Centre Court at Wimbledon.

The number four seed won his match in straight sets against Czech Jan Hazek but clearly looked vexed as the Queen gave an almighty parp on her plastic horn as Murray tossed the ball into the air.

Murray had been mumbling some old bollocks about not bowing to the Queen because he thought it would really impress his mates who are all into skateboarding and think tennis is a bit gay. So the Queen decided to exact her revenge and teach the scrawny little Scot a lesson.

The Queen has urged her public to join in and blow their Vuvuzelas the next time Murray plays in an effort to put him off his game. She knows that she is the only person allowed to have a Vuvuzela inside the Centre Court so she has ordered the working classes who sit on Murray's Minge watching the giant TV, to blow their Vuvuzelas as loudly as they can especially during a crucial point in any of Murray's future matches.

Murray refused to comment on the Queen's actions and claimed he hadn't heard any noise during his first round win as he was so focussed on winning the game. He did however, start mumbling something about how he had Slovenian blood in him and wished the football team all the best in the match against England hoping again that his comment would really impress his friends.

***BREAKING NEWS***

Andy Murray doesn't have any friends anymore.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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