Written by Jess Mylocke
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Topics: Baseball, painting

Monday, 21 June 2010

image for A Pitcher Paints a Thousand Words
Well done, Kevin

The local art community has gone wild - but enough about the outbreak of Mad Cow Disease at the local art gallery.

Today, the community has been stunned by the talents of local Grimwich Town baseball player Kevin Arsepipe, who learned to write using a paintbrush.

The 28-year old had a troubled childhood and came from a poor council estate in the rough part of Grimwich. He was not wealthy enough to be classified 'dyslexic' and instead was just dumped in the corner of the room and given a dunces hat and a ball of string to play with.

But after discovering the joy of reading while reading the 'squiggly shapes' on the newspaper his fish and chips were wrapped in, Kevin discovered his hidden talent - a talent for painting shite words on sheets of 8X12 foot plywood.

Poetry was his calling, and he set about creating a work to rival the greats.
Entitled 'Arse Face', Kevin's magnum opus encapsulates (in words) what it's like to be an amateur baseball player in a rural backwater - using 1000 words.

"I could have written 1001 but I couldn't be arsed. Besides, me dinner was ready", Kevin admitted.


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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