Written by Jess Mylocke
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Depression, life, writer

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

image for Writer of Story Doesn't Give a Fuck
Shite

A spoof writer (me) woke up this morning with the sudden urge to not give a fuck about anything any more.

"As soon as my feet hit the icy cold floor, I was overcome with a wave of emotion that carried me off to the sort of place where I couldn't give two Sicilian shits what happens next", she said.

Getting into her crap 1998 Renault Megane, she made the decision to not bother going to work - well, what's the point really? - and just sit in the car all day and watch the window wipers going backwards and forwards.

Make the dinner? Fuck that. Why bother - you're only going to shit it all out later.

No, instead she decided to take a bus to the beach and get a tan.

"I didn't bother taking off any of my clothes because I don't care about tan-lies. In fact, I don't care about anything any anymore", she added.

Even if the tide comes in, the writer says that she won't budge and cares not a teensy toss if she gets swept out to see and dies.

She might keep you updated if she's in the mood.

Make Jess Mylocke's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 2?

7 23 13 8

Go to top ^