Written by Phoenix Joe
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Topics: Drugs, Stupid

Thursday, 10 June 2010

image for Scientist unveils 'Stupid Pill'
Those pills are great!

Phoenix Joe was privileged to attend a news conference held at top London hotel and sponsored by leading drug companies where Dr Jonathon Livingstone-Foreskin presented a new 'Stupid Pill' he has developed.

The Dr began by explaining "as society now shuns even the most rudimentary display or development of intelligence and seems to revel in and celebrate individuals who have IQ ratings in the region of 1 - 10, many people who are cursed with wanting to read books, hold intelligent debates etc. find themselves feeling isolated from mainstream society."

"We only have to look at Wayne Rooney, the World Cup, Big Brother, The Sun, Gordon Brown and the BBC to realize that even people with modest IQ's find themselves asking - 'why do people like / read / follow this stuff?'. The answer is simple - they are stupid!"

"Our new stupid pill enables everyone to feel part of the gang, to feel welcome at any pub. Anyone can now feel that inexplicable rush of endorphins when Wayne Rooney drags his knuckles across the pitch and kicks a ball. Feel elated and included when half wits like Goody display the fact that are actually one quarter wits."

By taking this pill three times a day, you will be able to read The Sun with out feeling bored or experiencing feeling of uncontrollable rage. You will be able to watch or read entire BBC news casts without thinking 'that's bullshit' or 'having the feeling that you are being fed propaganda' people will now simply lap it up and believe it all."

"The Dr ended his presentation by adding "this is the true opium for the people, and the great thing is that it a lot cheaper than beer."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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