Written by Jimbo123
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Topics: Prison, World Cup

Tuesday, 1 June 2010

image for World Cup - "Prison break-ins out of control"
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The Home Office has discovered that record prison overcrowding is not due to successful conviction rates but innocent members of the public breaking-in to 'bagsy' seats for the World Cup.

Wardens have always allowed in a trickle of people to deliver drugs and mobile phones but this is rumoured to of become a flood in the run up to the South African spectacular. One inmate said the courtyard had become a 'sea' of ropes, ladders and grappling hooks.

The attraction is said to be one of the best integrated home-cinema systems in the world.

"We've got multi-room HD in all the cells, there's a 60" beaut in the canteen and a 3D ready 130" stonker in the governors office. There's even commentary in the showers!" one inmate laughed.

One excited visitor said "Its full-board here so I won't miss a minute. There's a 56" full-LED Panasonic in the chaple nobody even knows about!"

The influx is said to be causing a headache for wardens as they struggle to keep up with the headcount. As football fans arrive, dangerous cricket fanatics are sneeking out they warned.

Some desperate arrivals are even donning disguises to try to blend in. One warden admitted "There's about 6 Peter Sutcliffes in here at the moment."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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