Written by Lance.D.Boyle
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Topics: Scientists

Saturday, 26 February 2005

"The Princess is dead long live the Princess"
Out with the old in with the new!
That was the catchcry from that wonderful quaint group ‘The Royal Family'

In addition, all is about change with the marriage of Prince Charles Notsocharming to his grandmother look a like Lady Caramello Bowls.

Speaking from the castle, on one of his many Gazillion dollar properties, bought and paid for by the no bodies, (or ‘loyal subjects' as Royalty likes to call them), according to Prince Charles this is all going to change.

"We are going to be much fairer, Lady Caramello and I wish to be modern Rulers," he proclaimed
"No more ‘off with their heads' this is the twenty first century you know!" added Lady Caramello.
It seems, since the death of the only Royal anyone really liked in about a two thousand years, Lady Diana, the Royal gig has been copping a lot of bad press.

"She really had to go!" said a Palace representative,
"We were just organising her severance pay of about 50million Euros, when she had that nasty accident" he chortled.

"I mean how could we have possibly kept her on? Diana wanted to stop exporting landmines, stop selling arms to third world dictators, stop selling tools of torture to despots worldwide, really she had no idea of good economics" added the Queen.

"And what with wanting to help the poor, help the sick help, help the underprivileged , give to A.I.D.s victims and to Landmine victims , no foxhunting, blah blah blah, damn it man! It drove us crazy, I tell you she was losing it big-time!" snapped Prince Phillip, slamming the croquet ball through the loops.

"Zo it iss all about to change" exhorted Prince Harry clicking his heels and high saluting the air.
"Charlie and I are soo in love, he even wanted to be my underpants" cooed Lady Caramello.
"I do love my Caramello , so much so, that right now in the royal science labs , scientists have taken some of Lady Caramello's D.N.A and are working on mixing it with my other favourite animal, the horse, then I can ride her all the time !" snickered Prince Charles.

At that moment Prince William back from a mountaineering jaunt in the Andes and wearing his school rugby jersey, crash tackled Lady Caramello screaming "You ain't never gonna be queen biatch!"

As the English paparazzi stormed the walls in a sea of flashbulbs, this reporter did his best rabbit impression and bolted from the scene, there is nothing more daunting than a Royal Family ‘donnybrook'. Apart from .410 shotgun pellets in my rear end, (a parting gift from Prince Phillip) I believe I have come away with the story of the century.

Your loyal royal reporter from downunder in the colonies
Lance.D.Boyle
Australia

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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