Written by Lady Godiva
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Topics: Susan Boyle, Health

Saturday, 22 May 2010

image for Statins can be risk to health Susan Boyle has joined the campaign to put an end to its use
Wearing red statin socks can result in an outbreak of athletes foot - usually the 'right' one

Statins can be a risk to health. Results of a new study were published today.

Susan Boyle is on the list of celebrities who have recently formed a new committee to work on a Public Awareness campaign as a result of the findings detailed below.

It was known that many people, worldwide, were allergic to statins, especially if in immediate contact with the skin. They broke out in itchy rashes. The obvious solution, stop wearing statin.

Susan, herself, is not allergic to statin but has asked her wardrobe people to throw away all gowns made from statin,

"Och aye,just in case. A dinna want to develop an allergy. It might manifest itself during one o' ma concerts. Especially under the hot lights. Am just nae tekkin any chances, nae matter how wee they may be".

What was not known before the study, is how many people had developed health problems beyond that of a mere rash.

The study reveals that genital herpes was, in a number of cases, a result of women wearing statin underwear. Changing to cotton resulted in curing this problem.

Men with cancer of the testes were studied. It was found that 25% of patients wore statin underwear. Switching to cotton may not cure this disease but it is hoped that when the results of the study 'get out', other men wearing statin underwear will switch to cotton in an attempt to thwart their chances of contracting the disease.

Manufacturers of statin are, naturally, wondering what to do with the unused, growing pile, of statin.

One suggestion, coming from an anonymous source, was:

"Dye all the statin red and give it as a gift to the Red Scarf Brigade for $25 per bolt."

When reminded that a gift is a gift and cannot be charged for.....the anonymous source commented,

"The Subo fanatics are not bright enough to figure that out and anyway $25 is their favourite amount. You'll see!! The statin will fly off the shelves."

That suggestion is being considered.

More as this story unfolds.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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