Cameron takes over

David Cameron this evening takes over from the Labour Government.

"I'm grateful for all the Labour Government has done over the last 13 years," he enthused. "I'm grateful for inheriting the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, grateful for the economic desperation our country finds ourself in, grateful for a financial and social emergency that I inherit which I'm sure, with no ministerial and leadership experience, I am completely prepared for."

Mr. Cameron then allowed the media into his kitchen where, unexpectedly, the alarms were set off where secret weapon, wife Samantha, blew the fuses trying to mix some spongecake.

"Samantha has tried to complete what we have sought over the last weeks," simpered Cameron. "A mix of Right and Centre which we hope will produce something scrummy yet acceptable Leftwise too."

Mr. Clegg's wife, Miriam, wife of the new Deputy Prime Minister said, "Ju mus' be jokin'", (Mrs. Clegg is 'foreign'), "Ju cannot make cakes wiz no experience... Ju must 'ave za right mix."

The Camerons have rejected any intervention because they don't like foreign intervention, and they don't like any drastic change in recipe. "Integration is simply too painful," BBC correspondant, Silas O'Nasty, told this reporter. "The Camerons and The Cleggs will simply provide a fetid combination of nasty tastes which nobody will find palatable."