Written by Lady Godiva
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Topics: Susan Boyle, Iceland

Monday, 10 May 2010

image for Susan Boyle meets Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones from Cargo Fleet at an Icelands Shop in Middlesbrough
Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Brown from Cargo Fleet posing for page 3 of their local newspaper 'Gobsmacked in Middlesbrough'

Susan Boyle is doing her best to help out the Iceland Franchises. Yesterday she visited a branch of Iceland in Middlesbrough. The shop happened to be the branch where Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Brown do their main shopping.

Iceland shops were in the papers recently as a result of the volcanic eruption in the country of Iceland. Many, dare I say, 'uneducated' folk believed that Iceland shops were having volcanic eruptions and so, for safety's sake, many had started doing their Thursday shopping (welfare cheque day) at Morrisons branches.

Susan Boyle was asked to visit Iceland shops in the North East of England as a publicity, marketing ploy. Iceland owners knew that many of their regular customers were fans of Subo's, as she is affectionately known.

After visiting Takwana and Anitkapita's Iceland shop and meeting with the two 'ladies', Susan had this to say,

"Och, the wee lassies may be a bit strange in some ways, but then, so am I. Aren't we all? A gave them each a copy of my C.D. but they looked a wee bi' blank when A gave it to them. They didn't seem to know who A am. That's o.k. tho' because it was refreshing in a strange way. If ye get ma meaning."

When interviewed after the meeting with Susan Boyle Takwana said, "Well this dead nice woman wi' a funny accent gave me and Anitakapita a C.D. A think she was called Susan Broil or summat. She was dead ordinary like us and people said she's werth millions o' pounds. Yer wouldna believed it if yerd saw 'er.

She sang some song for the crowd like an' she were dead gud, weren't she Anita? Lovely voice. She could be on the telly yer know, if someone discovered 'er like. Yer know wo' a mean.

A wish 'er well. A DO. 'Onest. In spite of 'er funny accent."

It is reported that Miss Boyle had thoroughly enjoyed her time with Takwana and Anitakapita. She is reported to have stated: "They were lovely lasses. Down to earth. Ma type o' pals."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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