BP announced today that it is launching a green attack on the huge Gulf of Mexico Oil spill. Today ten thousand paddle boats will leave an undisclosed harbor, each being paddled by a Green Piece representative.
Estimates put the arrival of the fleet at about four months, with the boats averaging about 2 nautical miles per hour. Captain James T. Kirk, being played by William Shatner, is heading the armada and he had this to say about the cause they were following, and BP's commitment to saving the environment:
"Stardate 400.4345349.034503.0000. Our fleet has just cleared the no-wake bouy and we are encountering the first really big 2 foot waves of the journey.
"I'm exhausted, much of the fleet is already in disarray and Nimoy is throwing full beer cans at me! I don't mind saying, I'm just a little disappointed in Leonard.
"Sulu is nowhere to be seen, the little faggot, he was dressed in bright pink for the journey."
Several hundred of the paddle boats are apparently taking on water and are not proving sea worthy in heavy surf. A BP spokesperson refused to comment on condition of anonymity, "This is joke, none of them are going to make it, Shatner just sank!"
BP has pledged to continue trying additional goofy pseudo green activity to fool a naive public into thinking they give a shit.