Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Auction, Antiques

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

image for David Dickinson Sold For £27 On Dickinson's Real Deal
David Dickinson Takes A Well Deserved break.

Consternation this afternoon in Dudley as David Dickinson, the presenter of Dickinson's Real Deal, ITV's inferior answer to The Antiques Roadshow, was sold to local Dudley pensioner Valery Flax for £27 by mistake.

It appears that Dickinson caught Miss Flax's eye during an on-camera moment, so she approached dealer Mike Melody (the dodgy one) and put in a bid of £27.

It wasn't until Miss Flax was seen attempting to load the presenter into the back of a Renault Kangoo that the producers, and Mike Melody (who had already trousered the £27) realised that a horrible mistake had been made.

As the producers and a couple of the show's dealers (including that effeminite bloke in the frilly shirt) attempted to wrest the presenter from the grasp of the determined pensioner, fears were expressed that the situation was escalating out of control.

ITV switchboards were jammed with calls from the workshy and shift workers offering encouragement to Miss Flax.

David Dickinson eventually managed to extricate himself from the grip of Miss Flax and promptly ran away and hid in an outside location caterer's van.

A clearly flustered Miss Flax later apologised for the misunderstanding, saying that she'd thought that David Dickinson was a wooden statue of a Native American warrior chief, which would provide a nice conversation piece over tea and buscuits in her conservatory.

Police are keen to speak to Mike Melody, who allegedly did a runner with Miss Flax's £27.

Look out for the sparks. They will fly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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