Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: volcano, travel

Saturday, 24 April 2010

image for Volunteers Asked To Remain On Holiday Forever
This man has just been told that his flight will be delayed forever.

With the heavy backlog of flights caused by the Icelandic volcano, airline companies and the government have called for volunteers to remain in exile forever.

Long-haul flights are the worst hit, and British airways has been offering passengers the chance to start a new life abroad. Spokesperson Tina Phillpott said "I just told some people that they would not make it back in time for the election. They hugged and kissed me. Others are being told that Eastenders and Coronation Street are not available in some countries. It's working."

Never returning to Britain was not something these passengers originally planned. Doug Walters of Harpenden said "I went to Thailand for two weeks. Now I'm planning a new life abroad with two pairs of trousers, three shirts and the less said about my underpants, the better. Still, it beats Harpenden. To be honest, I've never been happier. I hate the UK."

Finding work for stranded Brits will not be easy, but Virgin say that they are always on the look out for new catering staff, whilst those stranded in India may find themselves working in a call center for a leading UK high street bank.

Eternal holidays-it could be the new craze.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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