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Topics: Susan Boyle

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

image for Susan Boyle to appear at the Edinburgh International Festival
the O2? maybe next year?

Scottish singer, Susan Boyle is set to appear at the world famous Edinburgh International Festival in August. She has turned down the opulence of the Usher Hall to appear, nightly, on stage at the Princes Street Gardens.

The singer has expressed a desire to go back to her roots and has chosen a cosy, outdoor venue so that locals and tourists alike can join in the community singing that she enjoys so much.

Susan has been confused because she sees the same faces, with the same accents and red scarves at every concert she gives.

"It's as if they are chosen" she is reported to have said.

"I am not one for exclusivity," Susan continued, " I am Scottish and I want my Scottish fans to enjoy themselves as well. We are all Jock Thamsons bairns, are we not? (Google it) I don't want them stuck behind some large group of women, who seem to appear wherever I perform. Let them take their chances with everyone else. That works best for me."

The singer may also do a stand up routine of anecdotes and jokes collected on her many visits to the Happy Valley Pub. A spokesman for Miss Boyle hinted that there might be some saucy and bawdy moments, that will not appeal to some ehm fans. They may wish to stay away (please), if easily offended, even if Susan is doing it all for fun.

The good news is their red scarves will keep them warm on a bracing, Scottish, August evening.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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