In a shock announcement al-Qaeda have claimed responsibility for the Icelandic volcano eruption that has caused havoc to the travel industry, and stranded thousands of people over the last few days.
Jimmy Al'Babar Quaseerie, spokesman for the terror group and dog worrier, said "my friends in the group want to make it known, it was us what did it. We now control the Earth. We have power over all. Look out, non-believer, western scum."
It transpires that the Icelandic government sold off the Eyjafjallajökull volcano to al-Qaeda, for an estimated US$8 million. The officials hoped to ease the banking crisis with this quick fix cash injection.
It is believed that al-Qaeda officials then exploded several bombs within the volcano, and asked their mighty God for assistance to piss off the western scum. He must have been listening.
Fears have spread that the terror group may try similar tactics elsewhere. Plans to purchase the famous 'Old Faithful' geyser are forging ahead and they are only days away from exchanging contracts on a fault line running through California.
Rumours that they are bidding on two upcoming tsunami's and a tornado are yet to be confirmed.
More as we keep our head's down.