Written by IainB
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Topics: volcano, Royal Navy

Monday, 19 April 2010

image for Royal Navy to Rescue Stranded Brits
Every boat welcome and needed

The British government have decided, hours ahead of the air travel ban being lifted, to rescue British tourists trapped on foreign shores unable to get home due to the Volcanic Ash Cloud preventing them from flying by using the British Navy.

However, to save the British tax payer a little bit of money, the billion pound Stirling destroyers and frigates won't be travelling around Europe in search of Brits desperate to get home to see the Eastenders Omnibus and go back to work. Instead, Gordon Brown has asked that people make their way to one location to be picked up.

After much deliberation, it has been decided to pick the plucky Brits up from Dunkirk.

"It would be useful if any stranded British troops, er, holiday makers could make their way to Dunkirk, where they will be picked up and taken home," Brown announced.

With the thousands of tourists desperate to get home, as well as the thousands of asylum seekers who sense an opportunity when they see it, the British government has asked if owners of small boats could help out the navy flotilla and bring some people back with them. With the prospect of a bit of cheap plonk, hordes of dingies, fishing boats and pedalloes are expected to make the crossing to Dunkirk to pick up the Brits.

"Oooh," said one doddery OAP stood on the beach at Dunkirk waiting for the the boats to arrive. "This brings back some memories."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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