Written by IainB
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Monday, 19 April 2010

image for Derek Acorah world to open in Edinburgh
The Duke of Edinburgh - not dead yet.

World famous psychic, Derek Acorah is to open his own theme park in the Scottish capital Edinburgh. Edinburgh is widely regarded as the most haunted city in the world, with a ghost on every street corner, and a ghoul under every bed.

"What better place to put Acorah world?" asked Acorah at the unveiling ceremony.

With Edinburgh castle already top on a tourist itinerary, the new theme park will be a stones throw from the castle in a converted twenty-acre stately home's gardens. The home itself is widely regarded to be the most haunted building in the Universe, currently home to over five hundred ghosts.

An obligatory ghost train will take tourists through a reconstructed Edinburgh showing off some of the more famous dead people that Acorah has found in the city, many of whom had never even visited when alive, such as Robbie Burns and William Wallace.

"Although their corporeal bodies never visited Edinburgh," Acorah said in his defence, "This is their spiritual home, and therefore, where they now reside as spirits. I know this, because I've met them."

Many people are sceptical of the motives of the Liverpudlian Paul O'Grady look-a-like, but Acorah is convinced that the spirit of Alexander Flemming came to him and indicated how many loops the Roller Ghoster should have, whilst it was John Logi Baird himself who used automatic writing to create the shape of the Monster Maze.

With the dead choosing to speak only to Acorah, nobody is arguing. However, many are hoping it goes the same way as Blobby World.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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