Written by Nae mair crap
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Friday, 16 April 2010

image for The only Tory in Scotland
it's lonely being the alien Tory

The Tories planted Thatcher on Scotland in the 1980's. She hated the Scots and the Scots still detest her and any haw, haw, haw, high and mighty Tory in Scotland. That's why they only have one Member of Parliament from a Scottish constituency.

Spare a thought for the Honourable Member for Dumfriesshire, Clydesdale and Tweedsdale, the only Scottish Tory MP. He has passed a lonely 5 years at Westminster, no Scottish chums only the others to try to make friends with. Poor guy had to beg to find two proposers to get him past the doors at Westminster.

The only member of the Scottish Tory Pipe and Drum band. Make that recorder player and no band, he never got past beating his own drum and blowing a lot of hot air through his pipes.

A Burns Supper for him became a TV dinner watching reruns of the Edinburgh Tattoo followed by a toast to the Harrods food hall, his one luxury (on expenses naturally).

The final lonely night he had to carry all alone for four Christmases, the Scottish Tory Christmas Party, ever year a microwave Christmas Pud and Turkey Dinner for one from Tesco.

Will he finally find a new Scottish chum? A dinner partner, a chum to toast Happy New Year with, a pal who understands his posh accent. You might think it would happen but let's hope not.

Those ungrateful Scots, should be ashamed, ignoring the natural party of Government and what's his name. Jings and crivvens, help ma boab, we don't even know his name (and can't be arsed Googling it)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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