Written by IainB
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Topics: Iceland, volcano

Friday, 16 April 2010

image for Icelandic Ash Claims First UK Victim
Not Eyjafjallajoekull, but a more dramatic volcano eupting

On Wednesday, the unpronounceable volcano Eyjafjallajoekull erupted for the first time in over two centuries. The last time it erupted it caused a mini-ice age in Europe that killed tens of thousands; and this time around, it is no less devastating, grounding flights in and out of large swathes of Europe, but mainly Britain, ruining holidays and filling airports with people who believe that planes must use the roads.

All of this pales into insignificance when news broke that the volcanic ash cloud claimed it's first UK victim.

The ash cloud, containing microscopic particles of glass, rock and strawberry jam has started to descend to ground level across much of the UK. Along the North East coast, it devastated a family in Bishop Auckland.

"It was awful," said Carrie Bagg. "It had been so nice over the past few days, and this has come as a terrible surprise. We just weren't expecting it, and neither was my mother."

Carrie's mother, Hanna Bagg, is widely believed to be the UK's first victim of the ash cloud as Carrie explained.

"My mum had left her washing out over night, what with the unseasonal sun we were experiencing, and when she woke up this morning, it was covered in ash. She's had to wash it all again, and the glass and rock has ruining her washing machine. They didn't warn us about that, did they?"

Even worse news for Hanna Bagg, the insurance company have claimed that this is an act of god, and won't pay out.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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