Written by Nae mair crap
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Thursday, 15 April 2010

image for Ashes to Ashes Susan Boyle and Bjork duet for Scottish ski centre
shit, where's Edinburgh gone

Pure white snow at the Lecht, in Scotland, turned black as ash from Iceland coated everything in a thick film.

Skiers at the Lecht could not ash plough and snowboarders were soon head to toe black ruining all their expensive grunge gear.

Scottish singer, Susan Boyle and her Icelandic chum, Bjork have recorded Ashes to Ashes, all proceeds going to the Action to Save the Highlands (ASH)charity.

Bjork loved her duet with Susan, "We are both so off the f***** wall," she said, "A natural combination of talent."

"Of course, I am only here in the UK to laugh at all those bastards who took our money" she laughed, "don't mess with Iceland, we have loads more natural disasters to throw your way. We will melt all the glaciers and flood the whole of Scotland."

Bjork had to leave in a hurry to catch the new superferry from Inverness to Rekjavik.

"We'll bankrupt BA and Virgin" she mocked "Useless strikers couldn't do it, but nasty wee Iceland can. This is just the beginning, there won't be any flights in the UK for years"

Her record company is to reissue, "Declare Independence" next week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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