Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 14 April 2010

image for Elderly Man Reports Fred West To The Police
That Door Could Do With A Lick Of Paint.

Gloucester Police were gobsmacked yesterday when an irate elderly man walked into the police station and reported Fred West to them, demanding his arrest.

The elderly man said that he was sick and tired of waiting for West to come and install a partition wall in his upstairs bedroom and do a bit of pointing on his gable end.

When police had succeeded in sitting the man down, a senior detective patiently explained that Fred West had been arrested for serial murder some years ago and that he had since taken his own miserable life in Birmingham's Winson Green Prison.

The old man, later identified as Joe Soap (79) of Gloucester was not convinced by the explanation and kicked up such a ruckus in the police station that he was almost arrested himself. After being cautioned, the old man left in a huff.

When we tracked down Joe Soap to a Gloucester address, he remained unrepentant, ranting that Fred "the robbing little bastard" West and the police were all covering up for one another. Because they're all Freemasons. And Soap said that he would never let the matter drop until the £3.50 deposit he'd paid to West as a deposit for the work was returned to him.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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