Written by Proffitt
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Topics: Death, Flying

Tuesday, 6 April 2010

image for Dead Man Nearly Boards Plane
Can you spot Curt?

A man thought to have been dead for at least 24 hours today tried to board a plane at Liverpool airport. Curt Willi Jarrent made it as far as duty free where his wife tried to claim his tax free cigarette allowance.

"I asked him where he was travelling to and he just stood there," said a shop worker. "He did look rather pale but I thought it was his cream shirt clashing with his fair complexion" said the make up counter worker.

The dead man was eventually spotted by an eagle eyed customs officer when he toppled over on the bus to the plane! "He was clearly as stiff as a board," said the officer. "The bus was only half full but he was standing. Then as usual the bus driver slammed on the brakes to make all the standing passengers fall over. Poor old Curt went flying to the front of the bus!"

The Police were called and they immediately arrested his wife. She tried to say he had just died but a doctor confirmed rigor mortis had set in and he was in danger of losing his head.

Airport officials are now asking how a dead man walked past customs, checked in and purchased 200 cigarettes without anybody noticing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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