Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 5 April 2010

image for Local Man In Jolly 3D Google Tomfoolery
Back To The Drawing Board For Shuttlecock.

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was enjoying a quiet Easter weekend at home with long suffering wife Anne, and fooling about on the internet while she was road testing yet another bloody E-Bay purchase. (Never sells - only buys, a tat merchant's dream ticket.)

On a whim, Shuttlecock decided to go into Google Street View and check out some of his old childhood haunts, which are many miles away from his current location, and very rarely visited these days. Martin Shuttlecock considered it as a romantic trip down memory lane.

It was as Shuttlecock was wallowing nostalgically in images of boarded up houses, grubby old shops, burned out pubs, and general urban blight, that he noticed a new feature had popped up on the screen since he'd last used it.

"Hey," he said to Anne, who was unwrapping yet another bloody parcel. "They've got this street view thing in 3D now. Where's the 3D glasses?"

"What bleedin' 3D glasses?" Anne blurted.

It transpired that the Shuttlecock's didn't have a pair of 3D glasses, which left Martin Shuttlecock in a state of near despair.

Not being the type to be easily defeated by a pithy problem of logistics, Shuttlecock decided to improvise. A brief search revealed a packet of multi-coloured marker pens and a couple of old pairs of damaged reading glasses from the 'junk which might come in handy someday' drawer.

Shuttlecock then set about inking in the lenses of the glasses, one red, the other green, But when he tried the glasses with the Google pictures, the result was inconclusive.

Putting the glasses on upside yielded slightly better results, but still not exactly 'in yer face' 3D

In a last ditch attempt, Shuttlecock repeated the experiment with the second pair of reading glasses, only this time using a blue marker pen in place of the green.

This time, the results were a little more encouraging - the picture on the laptop screen, although hardly describable as 3D did at least make certain colours appear slightly brighter than the others, especially in Times Square in New York, although squinting through the ink smeared lenses made it rather difficult to distinguish anything at all really.

At which point, Shuttlecock scrapped the idea, irritably enquiring what Anne was laughing at, and then sitting down to tea.

"He's absolutely hopeless," Anne sighed as she served the food up.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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