Written by Erskin Quint
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Drugs, China, clubs

Tuesday, 30 March 2010

image for Chinese Drug Baron: "Google To Blame for Meow Meow-Led 'Drug Tsunami'"
Stocks of "Oink Oink" on a junk in Shanghai yesterday

Meow Meow, the drug that has destroyed so many lives, is set to be outlawed in a matter of days.

The lethal drug - real name mephedrone - will probably be made a Class B substance like Amphetamines and Cannabis.

However, even when the ban - set to become law on April 8 - is passed, and Meow Meow is made illegal, Britain's clubbers are likely to face a new 'Tsunami' of so-called legal highs coming from the Far East, writes Drugged Reporter Napoleon Solo.

Reports suggest that Chinese pharmaceutical factories are already working on a new portfolio of chemicals that emulate the mind-altering ravages of Class A drugs like Cocaine and Heroin. These - like Meow Meow - will be perfectly legal when they hit the UK's dancefloors and playgrounds.

Chinese Drug Baron Fu Kyoo said yesterday: "We are developing 6 new legal substances which can quickly overwhelm the UK market before they can be made illegal.

"We can do these things quickly because the agencies of the West can no longer use Google spying agency to detect our actions. This is enhancement of our operations and will be Tsunami we will launch. Thank you."

Mr Fu Kyoo revealed that the 6 new legal highs would be:

  • Caninodrone - known as "Woof Woof"
  • Eiderdrone - Known As "Quack Quack"
  • Hippodrone - Known As "Neigh Neigh"
  • Bovodrone - Known As "Moo Moo"
  • Porcodrone - Known As "Oink Oink"
  • Tigerdrone - Known As "Roger Roger"


Government advisers are "working 24/7" to try to combat this threat, a spokesperson said yesterday.

Make Erskin Quint's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 2?

3 2 18 7

Go to top