Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Friday, 26 March 2010

image for David Cameron sets out to beat cock-sucking record
Mandelson - his cock will decide the election

To raise publicity for the Conservative party ahead of the up-coming election, David Cameron has promised to enter the annual Gay UK Cock Sucking Contest.

In the contest, participants are given 10 minutes to suck as many penises to climax as possible, as well as being marked on technique, style and class. The record is 28 orgasms, with a maximum 30 out of 30 for style.

Mr Cameron has decided to risk alienating traditional homophobic voters (who have all run off to UKIP or the BNP anyway) to gain the precious queer vote ahead of the election, which is expected in the next few weeks.

Prominent homosexual cabinet minister Peter Mandelson said, "If he can blow me as well as Tony Blair I might have to switch sides!"

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