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Monday, 22 March 2010

image for Tories Will Slap Crippling Tax on Work-Shy Malingerers
A reverse swastika logo proves that Think Right Think Tanks For 21st Century Liberty and Sunshine aren't Nazis

In the most positive move yet that signals that the gloves are off in the brave, new Tory election campaign, a clever group of bright-eyed young policy geeks called 'Think Right Think Tanks For 21st Century Liberty and Sunshine' have proposed a whopping new tax to wallop workshy malingerers where it really hurts.

The theoretical, centre-right, South African philosophers have reacted positively to a report that proves that work-shy malingerers constantly visit the doctor and it's costing you and I billions. So they've proposed a £10 fee to be slapped on each visit to offset the vast waste of public money wasted when people go to the doctor because they think they're ill.

"We can stop these dumkofs visiting the doctor because they think they are ill," said Dirkdozy VanDerValkyrie Dumm of the Think Right Think Tanks group. "By slapping a direct charge on them we will save Drei Zillion Gilders of lovely gold which we will use for homeland security."

The group, which has been praised by many similar groups on the centre right, has received mild rebukes from weak left wing groups supportive of Gordon Brown and his limp-wristed, negative, dark, snow-bound, crumbling government.

"If people die because they cannot afford to go to the doctor when they are ill," said Claude VanDerGraf Generator of the Centre Right Group for Policy Studies. "Tough! You can break egg to make omelette."

Liberty, sunshine and optimism are the keywords to the great new Tory revolution that is waiting to spring like spring in May.

The policy studies group, which cites Harry Potter and Adolf Hitler as their major influences, was set up as part of the Conservativehomes Blogspot and has gone a long way to ensure the electorate will think poll tax on health disguised as a tax on malingerers is a good idea.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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