God was indicted today in British Court on seven billion counts of abuse, neglect, and abandonment stemming from the horrific recent developments in Iraq, Afghanistan, New Orleans, Haiti, and Durham City. The action was a direct result of the Premier League announcement that the club is not a football team but actually play soccer. Upon delivery of the charges Mr. Bean, the President of the inept club, specified Allah, Jehovah, Buddha, Shiva, Bernie Maddoff, and Barrack Obama as aliases.
"We have been praying to God forever and all we wanted is the end of days but nooooo that is just too easy instead we have been made to suffer the most hideous of fates. I don't even have to get into the Jesus thing to prove the abuse and neglect."
In response to the charge the Royal Society of London's branch of Atheistic Science, which is pretty much the whole joint, renounced the action as more frivolous God stuff. "How many times do we have to murder God? Darwin proved, without a shadow of a doubt, that God doesn't exist and that was 150 years ago but every few years we get a resurrection. All this does is provide free press to get people to give their money to a church or even worse buy tickets. We long to go back to the good old days of imperialism when the wretched children of God use to give us all the money."
President Obama was asked to comment on his being named as an alias of God and he assured the world that his presidency has no connection to God, Allah, or anything else that would jeopardize his Heath Care Reform agenda. He then went on to question just where in hell Durham City is. That's the whole point or in this case the minus point.
Ti Cuff newswire.