Written by Lady Godiva
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

The latest news on the 'Subo Culture Students' is that, those who haven't yet failed the first test, are busy studying their colours. That is, 'which colour mixed with red will give the more appealing purple hue'? Many of them are feeling 'blue' but haven't a bleeding clue.

Some are experiencing withdrawal symptoms as a result of having their 'blankies' removed from them in the form of their red scarves. Those unable to detox succesfully after 2 days will have their red scarves returned and be sent back to their luxury homes in the States.

'Monarch of the Glenn' continues to be their favourite show.

They WERE given copies of Billy Connolly's Stand up shows to watch in an effort to improve their fake Scottish accents, which they are striving to perfect. Sadly,they couldn't understand a word he said and believed he was 'speaking in tongues'. They have refused to watch or listen to him anymore, although they did notice that Billy bears an uncanny resemblance to the son of the person they worship.

Subo is arranging for the Students to meet with Billy in an effort to enlighten them on Scottish accents and dialects. They WILL be sedated before the meeting. Billy is quoted as saying,

"Och wo' the heck Jimmy aye. Mind these sorry excuses for women are fair gettin' on ma tits. Gi' 'em a fish supper and a pint o' heavy and I'll meet wi' 'em and see wo' I can dee t'elp the wee lassies. Mind I'm telling ya now Jimmy, I don't want any o' their f@#$^&ng blessings an' I sure don't want a f@#$^&ng red bloody scarf."

Keep following this story as it unfolds.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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