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Wednesday, 3 March 2010

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A secret torture chamber has been discovered at the Prime Minister's place of residence and business, number 10 Downing Street.

The room was discovered by a delivery boy from a chocolate company who was there to deliver the weekly truckload of Kit Kat bars to the PM, who recently revealed he had a fetish for the chocolate covered wafer bars.

It is thought that Gordon Brown had the torture room installed in order to discipline members of the cabinet and have them "corrected" whenever he felt they were out of line.

The room is thought to be behind a secret wall in the Cabinet room, and can only be accessed via a voice recognition password, which is believed to be Gordon Brown screaming a number of swear words at a level of 194 decibels, the loudest sound level possible. Apparently this is a security measure to ensure that the room will only be used when the PM is really mad at his team and has a justifiable reason for inducing further "discipline".

There are concerns however that Gordon Brown has been punishing innocent members of his party on a daily basis, and it is believed the use of whips, chains, and other tools of the torture trade are regularly used to inflict pain.

An anonymous insider released this statement;

"If this is how Gordon Brown treats members of his own party, I wouldn't want to run against him in an election."

We asked David Cameron about his thoughts on the recent speculations;

"Whatever torture chamber Gordon Brown can build, I can build a more sinister one, run more economically and efficiently, with the service user in mind."

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