Written by Hartley
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Thursday, 25 February 2010

image for Jeremy Kyle Hosts TV First
It's time to dumb down politics

In a press conference earlier today it was revealed that voters will be given a chance to see the three main political party leaders debate live on TV next month, ahead of the long overdue General Election.

The recently appointed Popularity Tsar, Sir Simon Cowell MBE, disclosed that a number of formats had been considered.

"We looked at a number of popular TV formats to make politics more digestible to the public. The list included Campaigning On Thin Ice, I'm A Politician ... Get Me Out Of Here! and Cash In The Second Home's Attic. However after a short consultation with my team I decided that the highly regarded Jeremy Kyle format would be most suited for the debate."

Jeremy Kyle said,"We are delighted to be hosting this event. Mr. Cameron, Mr. Clegg and Mr. Brown are to dress in tracksuits and baseball caps in their party colours, as it was a worry that viewers would get confused if they did not resemble our usual guests."

"We will allow each party leader to put their case forward, then we will confront them with results of their lie detector tests. If things get out of hand I will start shouting and stamping my feet as usual. As always Graham The Genius will be on hand with our aftercare team to help with any fallout and rehab requirements."

Although Cameron and Brown are happy to go ahead, it's reported that Nick Clegg has concerns over wearing a yellow tracksuit in case he is mistaken for Ali G.

Kyle's arch enemy, Trisha Goddard, is said to be furious at the decision, and will go head to head against him in a ratings war. Trisha will host a special show entitled I Had A One Night Stand With Ashley Cole, I've Sold My Story, And Now I Feel Used. Her show will devote five minutes to each guest and is scheduled into a special three hour slot opposite Kyle.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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