Apparently British Prime Minister is not the calm person everyone thinks he is, especially when fighting for his political life.
His staff have placed about a dozen calls, four in the past week, to the nation's bullying helpline.
"Oh smoke comes out of his ears every time he hears certain people's names mentioned and then last week it was a lot worse", stated one staff member who stated that he did not want to be identified.
"He called Elton John in to give him a metal for helping some cause or other but he was only looking for someone to bully. He then got right in Elton's face and screamed till we in the other office could hear Elton whimpering. The next thing we know is Elton was being kicked in the arse right on out the door."
All Brown stated apparently was that they had a little falling out and that he's sure Elton's boyfriend will be able to put his arse in a slang until it gets better.
Meanwhile, John was really sore. He told friends at his music studio that he was going to have some weally, weally anti-Brown songs written and that he was putting everything he had into them to get Brown out of office.
The source then stated that Brown told them that he wanted that "Weasel Arse in American" called up and that I'm inviting him to a bowling match.
"I guess he figures that if Obama couldn't bowl with a regular bowling ball while campaigning, how was he going to handle tossing a dwarf?"
Meanwhile Elton John was at one of his boyfriend's house crying and he was bathed and had ointment put on his ass, beginning to recover and looking horny.