Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 12 February 2010

image for Skullduggery at Westmonster North, Tory candidate Joanne Cash and the OTHER Sarah Palin
Tory skullduggery: the real prime suspect David Cameron

London - (Well-Hung Parliament): The aerial view of its boundaries is unequivocal: from above the Westmonster North constituency traces the outline of a loaded .44 Mangum.

And this week an OK Corral-sized shoot-out for the Tory electoral candidacy at Westbourne Grove's The Commander pub saw David Cameron maven Josephine Cash topple long-standing local wannabe parliamentarian Amanda Sayers.

"The fur flew and an almighty row saw blonde bombshell Ms Cash chosen," the pub barman commented, "and all because of a mix-up about the real ID of fabled mystery king-maker Sarah Palin."

"NOT the ex-Alaskan GOP governnor and pitbull-in-lipstick hockey Mom, you understand," British legal sources explained, "but hotshot UK defamation lawyer and chambers colleague of Cameron pick Ms Cash."

Cash, 39, is a well respected barrister at prestigeous London chambers 1 Brick Court, and is married to Brinsley Black/Moorea Hastings' son Octavius, a pal of wannabe PM David Cameron.

Her chambers colleague Sarah Palin has rottweiler-like experience as a defence attorney including cases involving disgraced UK top cop Ali Dizaei, the Muslim Council of Britain, free-loading Tory tossers Neil and Christine Hamilton and leading Palestinian politician Mohammed Dahlan.

But as a GOP candidate and former wannabe Veep to John McCain she falls far short of expectations.

Despite widespread tittle-tattle and an overwhelming lack of any conclusive DNA evidence Ms Cash, herself, is a dead ringer for the daughter of incumbent chambers silk Edward Garnier QC, Tory shadow attorney general.

Print-that-and-I'll-sue-Garnier, 69, is arguably London's pre-eminent defamation and malicious falsehood/trade libel lawyer.

His considered views on Labour attorney general Lord Goldsmith's ramblings before the Chilcot Inquiry the other week are the very stuff of classic blind-man's-buff outings, much to the consternation of the discredited Labour government.

"The whole chambers is a hotbed of political intrigue," Spoof legal reporter Dave Mareva said today.

"If Ms Cash goes on to win the Westmonster North seat later this year I can confidently forecast that colleague Sarah Palin will soon stand as a LibDem candidate for, er, Barking!

"Consider her the next LibDem Prime Monster around the following general election around 2015!"

No Levi Johnsons lurk in this Ms Palin's skeleton cupboard and she has no daft-named children like Bristol or Trigonometry.

Spreadbetting bookies Aintgottaprayer.con rate her at 5/1 for political stardom in the next 10-15 years, compared to 33/1 with-a-run for her Alaskan failure namesake.

Amanda Sayers is 55.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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