Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 22 January 2010

image for Local Man In Big Fridge Delivery Debacle
It Was Something Like That...But It Looked Bigger.

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock once again found himself at the mercy of one of his wife's whims when he agreed to stay at home to accept delivery of an American style fridge/freezer.

At 14:00 GMT a wagon pulled up outside the house, which presumably contained the new fridge/freezer. Ignoring the drizzly rain, Shuttlecock went out to advise the delivery guys that it would be easier transporting the fridge through the back garden and straight into the kitchen, rather than through the front.

The delivery guys agreed with Shuttlecock's assessment and asked Shuttlecock where the back gate was.

"It's round the back," Shuttlecock informed them, successfully suppressing any idea of condescension towards the delivery guys on his part.

Moving through the house and into the back garden, Shuttlecock opened the back gate, whereupon he was met by delivery guy number one, who was shaking his head in the negative and sharply intaking breath.

"We'll never get it through there," the delivery guy opined.

"Why? How fucking big is it?" Shuttlecock snapped impatiently, being originally from Salford and not renowned for his patience at times of abstinence.

Once more, Shuttlecock braved the rain to check out the package. It was the size of a phone box. One of those old red British phone boxes. It was big though, he conceded. In fact it was so big that William Perry, once of the Chicago Bears and known as 'The Fridge' could have curled up comfortably inside it. Alongside his twin brother.

"It'll fit," Shuttlecock said assertively.

And sure enough, it did, although it had to taken out of its packaging to get through the kitchen door. Eventually, the delivery guys left, but not before they'd left wet footprints and assorted puddles all over the kitchen. Which Shuttlecock had to clean up.

"You know what the irony of all this is?" Martin Shuttlecock told our reporter. "The irony is that now I've got space to store a mountain of cold beers. But I'm off the drink at the moment. Ain't that just fucking typical..."

He added that it pays to be skeptical of deliverymen. They'll spin you any old bullshit line to get out of delivering stuff. Be aware. Be very aware.

More fridge related frolics as we get them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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