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Friday, 18 December 2009

image for Airline Hire Al-Qaeda Aircrew To Beat Christmas Strike Shock
A BA trolly dolly yesterday

In a surprise announcement today Bumbling Airlines has announced that it will use scab cabincrew supplied by Al-Qaeda to guarantee its scheduled flights over the Christmas period.

A spokesman for the union stated: "We understand the twelve day strike action may have been seen to be excessive by the courts, but our attempt to appeal this judgement so the strike can go ahead has resulted in this latest management move. It is designed to deliberately aggravate the situation."

Union officials are concerned with the quality of the service delivered to passengers by Al-Qaeda cabin crew that haven't been through the airline's lax customer service training.

A press statement stated: "We find this concern for passenger satisfaction laughable coming from the union that was going to ruin thousands of passengers Christmas holidays. As for the quality of the scab workers, Al-Qaeda cabin crew are some of the highest qualified we have ever seen, with degrees in medicine, chemistry, electronics and even apparently many trained pilots which I'm sure will be reassuring to our passengers."

Bumbling Airlines stated coverage isn't total as there are only so many trained personnel available but in talks with Al-Qaeda they have guaranteed that every US bound plane will have cabin crew onboard.

Details on a deal for return flights still haven't yet been reached as Al-Qaeda have said it was impossible for them to guarantee to have the personnel available to man any return flights.

In a bid to reassure passengers Dickie Douche, chief executive stated:

"We will endeavour to get all passengers home when the return flights are due back but this at least will guarantee that people can at least begin their holidays.

"In our talks with Al-Qaeda we have impressed upon them the necessity to treat every transatlantic passenger like the Queen of England herself.

"In fact when I called to let them know that they had won the contract I was glad to hear them excitedly shouting "Beth to America, Beth to America".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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