Written by Mark Merton
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Topics: Oil, Hearing

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

image for It's official: Olive Oil does not improve your hearing
Researchers

After seven years of research in rural Italy Professor Peterson and his team of twenty-seven researchers have concluded that olive oil has no effect whatsoever on our hearing.

Holding a press conference at an olive grove up in the Alps overlooking the Mediterranean sea Professor Peterson admitted that it was a sad moment for him and his team as they reached the end of this wonderful research which lasted seven years:

"We had a smashing time here in Italy and we enjoyed every moment of this research. Our workload was not really overbearing as we only needed to prove something that was never in dispute anyway. But in the meantime we earned good money, we ate well, we drank a lot and we totally enjoyed ourselves in this sunny country. Thank you Britain."

The research was commissioned by the NHS as part of their initiative looking for alternative treatments using everyday consumables. The next research in the programme is scheduled to start soon and a team of highly qualified scientists will establish the link between eyesight and listening to the sound of the sea. Spain has been chosen as the setting of the research.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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