Written by Nick Hobbs
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Topics: Children's TV

Thursday, 19 November 2009

image for Captain Scarlet Living In Yarmouth
The years have not been kind to Captain Scarlet, Indestructible.

Mr Indestructible himself, Captain Scarlet, has been tracked down to a single person's bedsit in Great Yarmouth, U.K.

The former international agent of Spectrum has recently been living as a recluse, following the final destruction of his arch nemesis, The Mysterons.

Mr Scarlet, real name Paul Metcalfe, was spotted leaving The Monkey And Drum public house in the town centre last week. His hair was dishevelled and he has major beard growth. Sally Potts, barmaid, said "he was really gruff, just kept slamming back the shots and barking an order for the next one. He stank aswell, like he hadn't bathed for a few months."

Scarlets decline from public life was quite rapid. After the celebrated defeat of the Mysterons in 1998 he rode the crest of fame well. Often to be found opening shopping centres or appearing on TV chat shows. However, work began to dry up as peoples memories of the tyranny of the Mysterons faded.

He finally slipped from view and his drinking spiralled out of control. He had a brief glimpse of the limelight in 2006 when the government employed him for a mission in Iraq. Unfortunately Scarlet slipped on a wet floor in the airport and seriously banged his knee. He was immediately dropped from active duties. The following no win, no fee court case was covered by local news agencies, but no real media interest was shown.

It is sad that in this day and age a national hero can be forgotten so easily. He may well be indestructible, but he is still human after all and the human heart, no matter how strong, is still a fragile thing.

This reporter raises a glass to you, hero Captain Scarlet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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